Saturday, January 21, 2017

Bad BAD date!

I am not a teenager, young adult or even middle aged – I am an older woman, therefore, I date older men. 

Older men that, I presume, are somewhat worldly, have a little style, and are gentlemen.  

Well, forget that!

I have had some really, really bad dates – like one of those so-called gentlemen tried to play patty-cake on my bottom…….oh, first date - needless to say – on the only date. 

Bear with me, please, and let me take you through my all-time worse blind-date. I barely date and this little story will make it clear, why!!

Why would a man, who is meeting me for the first time, show up at an up-scale restaurant in a lavender short sleeve polo knit shirt and khakis? 

You can see where this will end badly……

I have been single for a very long time; my husband is deceased – a most charming, attracting, intelligent guy.  I am attractive, intelligent,  successful, dress well, and have a great sense of humor.

My friends very seldom ‘fix me up”, in fact, they just don’t, lamenting the fact that there isn’t anyone they know I would find interesting.

So, maybe it is my fault, but I don’t really believe that. Let me continue, you decide if you would ever take a second date with this guy.

Not my fault, the ‘gentleman’ in the lavender short sleeve polo shirt did not treat me to lunch, as in pay!

 After we finished lunch, we were chatting about a possible movie date the following week, when I noticed the check in the little fancy tray was still in front of him. In a few seconds he pulled out his credit card and just held it over the tray – hovering with it in mid-air.  

I finally said, ‘Would you like to split the check?’ He replied, ‘Okay.’

When that obscene bit of theatre was over, he had the nerve to continue discussing about next time. It gets better.

This super dork watched me as I got my valet ticket out with my $$$ tip in hand.

Oh BTW, I slept with a beautiful man because he took the ticket out of my hand, leaving me with the bills – he had already won my heart during dinner when he noticed my glass of white wine was not chilled anymore, but probably room temperature since I let it sit too long. He had just poured a fresh glass from the ice bucket for himself and promptly traded my glass for his – letting me enjoy the chilled wine.  Manners work with me every time.   

So…..with my ticket and $5. in hand, we walked to the front of the restaurant. As we got to the door before exiting to retrieve my car, he informed me with this (of course you did) bit of information.

‘I parked in the back.’  He said something about emailing me and off he went.

I had already formulated my ‘Dear John’ letter that I would send off immediately.

The usual: ‘It is not necessary to contact me……’

I have many pet peeves and one of my top 5 is the following:

Don’t come to the game if you’re not going to play.  

There’s always McDonalds -